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Black Lamb

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Now in its 14th year of publication, this magazine was created to offer the discerning reader a stimulating selection of excellent original writing. Black Lamb Review is a literate rather than a literary publication. Regular columns by writers in a variety of geographic locations and vocations are supplemented by features, reviews, articles on books and authors, and a selection of “departments,” including an acerbic advice column and a lamb recipe.

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When to be serious

April 1st, 2007

BY MILLICENT MARSHALL

Dear Reader,

I’ve been saving a couple of letters from the Black Lamb mailbag for this All-Marriage Issue.

Millie

Dear Millie,

As a divorced woman left with two small children to raise, I find myself growing angry when my childless girlfriends want to cry on my shoulder over the breakup of their marriages. “Get over it,” I want to say. “At least you don’t have to deal with children permanently bruised by the failure of your romance.” What do you think?

Pissed in Pittsburgh

Dear Pissed,

I suppose you have a point, but I hope you and your friends don’t regard feeling pain as a contest. You’ve made your messes, and it’s up to all of you to try to fix them, or at least minimize their impact. I’d say comfort one another and get on with life as best you can. Friends can be— should be — a real help.

Millie

Dear Millicent,

I have a couple of acquaintances, one actually an old friend, who have been married a number of times (more than twice). Am I alone in finding it difficult to take them seriously?

Feeling Guilty

Dear Feeling,

You’re not entirely alone. I, at least, am with you. While a lot of people seem to find it simply amusing that some characters jump in and out of wedlock as if they were changing clothes, I can’t help thinking that these jokers aren’t playing with a full deck. At some point in our lives, we’ve got to grow up and enter the adult world, which means maturely weighing pros and cons and making responsible choices, and then sticking by our choices.

Show me a person who’s been married a bunch of times and I’ll show you a person frozen in childhood. Such people are not to be taken seriously on any subject, but rather laughed at (not with). They’ve got a void where their conscience and moral responsibility ought to be, however charming or attractive they may seem. Do you really think you can trust such a person’s advice or opinion on any topic? I wouldn’t trust them, and neither should you.

Millie

Send your query to Millicent Marshall care of Black Lamb. Letters may be edited for length. Replies not guaranteed confidential.

Posted by: The Editors
Category: All Marriage Issue, Ask Millie, Marshall | Link to this Entry

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