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Black Lamb

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What’s not to like?

15 things that make me happy

January 1st, 2016

BY ELIZABETH FOURNIER

Things I Have (Until Now) Privately Savored (in no special order):

Sharp pencils. There is nothing like a sharp pencil. I feel like I could open a book of white paper and write forever, the sharp tip of my instrument creating beautiful words and imagery. What is it they say? A dream and a sharp pencil can take you anywhere. It sounds like a delicious ride on a fluffy cloud.

princessleiaPerforming the monologue from Princess Leia. Boys of all ages sort of tilt their heads and stare at me with glossy eyes as I begin, “General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire.”

Canned food. I wish you all had the luxury of looking in my pantry. It is all there in living can color, cans arranged by month and year. Every three months I rotate them all out and restock. I lust for pull-out shelves someday. That would be more delightful to me than walking through Crystal Gayle’s long and luxurious locks barefoot.


Practicing packing a shopping bag. Give me boxed foods, canned goods, and a paper bag, and I can fit the puzzle pieces together. But there are fittings you must know to avoid: you never want to mix items containing chemicals with foodstuffs. And bread on top, always. I learned the hard way, as does everyone else.

Lino Rulli from Sirius Radio’s The Catholic Guy Show. He does wacky things, such as speaking with postulants (nuns in training) at convents to ask them what they miss in secular life. It’s fun to hear the girls say they miss simple things like their a particular perfume, singing loudly to their favorite pop song, or spending luxurious time in a bubble bath. I imagine they all hunker down on the overstuffed couches on Saturday evening, with buckets of 94% fat-free popcorn and Tom Hanks films. In my mind, he only differences between them and me are the oversized crucifixes on the wall and maybe some windows made of stained glass.

Mia, the glass angel wind chime. She lives in the tree out front of my funeral home and waves at me in the bright sunshine. Okay, Mia doesn’t really wave at me, but the light glints off of her just right sometimes and my eye catches her love. She watches over the funeral home when I’m not in. No, it’s not weird.

Singing loudly out in nature. Something wells up inside me, starts at my feet and works its way up during the opening of The Sound of Music. I, too, want to twirl and saunter and be at one with the deer and owls as I prance to and fro, singing out the notes in a melodic, merry frizz. Julie Andrews would certainly have nothing on me.

Being a Synesthetic. The special gift of identifying numbers with colors. Can’t you see that 2 is always canary yellow, and that 10 is fire engine red? Not everyone does it, so it has a social name: color synesthesia. Numbers or letters are perceived as inherently colored, and this makes little old me quite special.

Telling people I have a round bed. I have yet to meet anyone else who has one; they always answer with “Really? No way!” Then they always want to know if I have special sheets. I think I would be inclined to ask how a round bed fits against a wall, or if the round bed sleeper falls out of bed easier.

The amazing comfort of my electric blanket. I crank it up to Number Eight, hunker way down low, and slip off to dreamland. It is delicious.

Hearing that my daughter is a mini-me. I always wanted a son, but I birthed a baby girl who looks and acts just like me. She has even developed my passion for canned food and sticks her fork directly into the open can to enjoy its savory contents.

I love to rhyme. Unabashedly.

Sesame Street. My favorite show of all time.

A fresh perspective. Just being able to wake up to the sun shining in the morning. Each day is yet another chance to turn it all around.

Those moments when the universe has my back. They’re glorious! •

Posted by: The Editors
Category: 13th Anniversary Issue, Fournier | Link to this Entry

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