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ABOUTBlack Lamb was created to offer the discerning reader a stimulating selection of excellent original writing. Published monthly. (more) FREE SAMPLE COPYClick here to receive a free sample issue via U.S. mail. There is absolutely no obligation. SUBSCRIBESupport this independently published journal of fine essays. Annual subscriptions are $15 in the USA, $25 in Canada, $30 in the UK, or $35 elsewhere (all prices in US $). Click here to subscribe online via paypal or send a check to Black Lamb, 1759 View Drive, San Leandro CA 94577. QUESTIONSIf you have questions or comments regarding Black Lamb, please email us. |
Archive for the 'All Marriage Issue' CategoryNyet, nein, non, no!April 1st, 2007 BY LANE BROWNING
Just a peeve of mine; I don’t use “celibate” to mean “doing without sex.” I use it to mean “forgoing marriage” or “unmarried,” and celibacy is embedded in my hemoglobin. I never “got” the whole marriage thing. Chastity is quite another animal. Chastity sucks. But where was I…. OK, here: I was compatibly unmarried to the same person for a very long time. A very very very long time. Throughout our history, we got the same tedious roster of questions, and I always delivered the same responses:
Posted by: The Editors Where Besson Street and Chevron don’t meetApril 1st, 2007 BY SAGE COHEN I am an unmarried woman. I can’t tell you how to get here The difference between losing The river comes in stages, The trees wear a heavy fur of snow.
Posted by: The Editors A good chuckleApril 1st, 2007 BY ALAN ALBRIGHT
“Doing anything today?” I asked. “Well…” he said. “Could you make me a ring?” I knew he could, and would — his jeweler’s equipment being right there — so in I walked, invited by now of course, and watched him cut a piece of brass wire, bend it around a mandril, and braze it into the conventional form. It took about three minutes.
Posted by: The Editors Whom God hath joined…April 1st, 2007
It’s interesting that in the American states dominated by Bible-bangers, the divorce rates have been significantly higher over the past twenty years than in those whose populations prefer that God stay out of the State House and the bedroom. The Bible Belt keeps divorce lawyers richer than the northeastern states where the secular humanists rule (although in fairness, liberal California leads the nation in divorces per annum, but more about that below). I know a nice guy from Alabama, a professed Christian, though he doesn’t make a fuss about it, who made a tidy fortune as a divorce lawyer until his soul began to sicken. He was spending his weekdays thinking up nasty and devious ways to put asunder those whom God had joined together, and his Sundays praising the Joiner. Well, most divorce lawyers thank God for marriage, but my friend is no hustling shyster. He’s sincere, smart, and he was seriously troubled by the gap between his beliefs and his job. When I met him (with his second wife), he was on vacation wrestling with his moral quandary. “The trouble is,” he told me, “I don’t know if I can afford to quit my practice.” The religious American’s dilemma: God hates what I do for a living, but my God how the money rolls in.
Posted by: The Editors It’s all trueApril 1st, 2007
Everything you’ve ever heard about marriage is true — the wonderful and the grotesque. The wedding itself is always a perfectly joyful event. As a violin player in my mothy tuxedo, a bottle of Argyle chardonnay pulsing through my fingertips, I’ve witnessed countless weddings, and each was a creation of beauty and goodness.
Posted by: The Editors Not much progressApril 1st, 2007 BY DAVID MACLAINE
Posted by: The Editors They used to do it in ItalyApril 1st, 2007 BY DAN PETERSON ,span style='width: 55px;'>Marriage, Italian Style. This 1964 film classic by Vittorio De Sica, starring Marcello Mastroianni and Sophia Loren at the height of her beauty and sexual power, says it all: marriage, in Italy, is something different from marriage anywhere else. Part of this is due to the influence of the Roman Catholic Church and its stand against divorce. The result was that, for years, marriage was a one-shot deal. No seconds. This brings us to the all-important figure of the mistress. I coached the Virtus Bologna basketball team for five years, 1973-78, when people supposedly had to toe the line with regard to marriage and fidelity. Yeah, right. I’ll say this: I did not know a single Bolognese man over thirty-five with decent economic means who did not have a mistress. I mean, they were like status symbols: Mine is better than yours. There is a famous anecdote in The Italians, by Luigi Barzini, in which a married couple go to the opera. The wife, using her binoculars, says, “Dear, who is that beautiful young girl with Mario?” The husband says, “My dear, please be discreet. That’s his mistress.” The wife then scans left and sees her husband’s mistress, seated in the loge section, then scans to Mario’s mistress and says, “Ours is better!”
Posted by: The Editors A taxing situationApril 1st, 2007 BY ANDREW DARREL The Italian government has recently adjusted some of its income tax regulations. As a result, according to Corriere della Sera, at one level of income at least, single people now have to pay three times as much income tax as those of their fellow citizens who are married with a couple of kids and a dependent spouse. This strikes me as just a bit unfair. Unlike many of my friends and acquaintances, I have no objection to paying taxes, and probably, Italy being the country it is, I could get away with paying less than I actually do. But I consider them an essential part of civilized life. Though some of what I contribute to the commonwealth gets wasted, most of it is still spent on really useful projects like confining my neighbors’ children during daylight hours to places of education. I can also put up with the idea that I might be subject to a bit of discriminatory taxation, up to a certain point — but to have to pay fully three times as much as a married person is too much.
Posted by: The Editors Out of whackApril 1st, 2007 BY DEAN SUESS How can one write about marriage when the American model is divorce? What point is there writing about a social institution that is statistically given to failure the majority of the time? The average marriage used to last seven years before ending in an expensive and shattering divorce. Then again, so did the average affair. It amazes me that a person would marry, risking one’s financial well-being with another person who, when the lust ends, the instant gratification fails, and the petulance sets in, will take the other for all he or she is worth, leaving behind a shell-shocked ex and probably progeny, all of whom become damaged goods. At one time, marriage was the foundation of financial responsibility. Now, however, depending on the judge, divorce can be far more financially lucrative than marriage, if you survive the emotional trauma. And this demonstrates what? Sensitivity?
Posted by: The Editors Practice wifeApril 1st, 2007 BY STEPHEN STARBUCK “Sit down so you can enjoy that!” That’s probably the last thing I’ll remember from my first marriage, my practice wife erupting, harping on my favored practice of eating a kitchen sink salad I’d just thrown together, scarfing it up actually at the kitchen sink, standing, on my feet, imagine that. A couple of kinds of lettuce, daikon (I’d say Japanese radish — thick and sweet, that grows like a giant white carrot — except when you’re living in Japan, you don’t say that), shaved carrots, olives, chunks of tomatoes, sharp cheddar, raw nuts, sprouts, and whatever else the fridge was hiding, drenched in olive oil and balsamic and minced garlic and cracked pepper… eaten directly from the stainless steel bowl I mixed it in, a pure pleasure.
Posted by: The Editors |
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