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Archive for the 'All Marriage Issue' Category

Beats the alternative

April 1st, 2007

BY JIM PATTON

Great girl. (I met her in high school, then let a near-lifetime pass before I located her again.) Great woman. Real woman, with myriad strengths and what she’s always called her numerous “foibles.” (Which she’s hard pressed to name except for “bad cuticles.”) She claims a mean streak, though she’s as mild as they come. Maybe it does exist and she stifles it because, admittedly, she doesn’t like conflict or confrontation. More likely, her idea of a mean streak is getting irked about some little something every few months. What do I know?

How well does anyone know anyone? My wife knows I’m a writer at heart (though my production waxes and wanes), knows I’m inclined to substances (though I promised not to introduce them into our life together, and haven’t), knows I don’t think highly of myself (though others see it differently), knows I can be mean (though rarely when I’m sober), knows I can be a softie (and promises not to tell). But what does this amount to? My real inner life is secret. Even when we went to counseling last year and bared plenty, to save the marriage, I held back (to save the marriage) — and I’m not one to hold back, so imagine what she leaves unsaid.

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Posted by: The Editors
Category: Patton, All Marriage Issue | Link to this Entry

When to be serious

April 1st, 2007

BY MILLICENT MARSHALL

Dear Reader,

I’ve been saving a couple of letters from the Black Lamb mailbag for this All-Marriage Issue.

Millie

Dear Millie,

As a divorced woman left with two small children to raise, I find myself growing angry when my childless girlfriends want to cry on my shoulder over the breakup of their marriages. “Get over it,” I want to say. “At least you don’t have to deal with children permanently bruised by the failure of your romance.” What do you think?

Pissed in Pittsburgh

Dear Pissed,

I suppose you have a point, but I hope you and your friends don’t regard feeling pain as a contest. You’ve made your messes, and it’s up to all of you to try to fix them, or at least minimize their impact. I’d say comfort one another and get on with life as best you can. Friends can be— should be — a real help.

Millie

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Posted by: The Editors
Category: Ask Millie, Marshall, All Marriage Issue | Link to this Entry

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